A solid place to stand…

Some days it’s hard to find a solid place to stand. Winds of change and trouble blow through my life, shifting and moving even the most reliable of shelters. Relationships grow, change, wither, break. We grow and diminish and hopefully grow again in the esteem of our children. Close friends become acquaintances. Sometimes, families fracture. The landscape of my life is constantly under construction. New things erupt, old structures collapse, and I must navigate this changing landscape. Continue reading “A solid place to stand…”

April road trip…

April in New England can be fickle. About ten days ago, I slid to the edge of the road as I took a turn on ice covered roads on my way to work. Yesterday, I spent the day with the windows down and the sunroof open as I drove toward Western Mass in the golden glow of the April sun. Trees are preparing to burst, but for now, the green canopy of summer is still weeks away. Through fields and quaint towns, I wandered a hundred miles on winding roads. Stone walls, white steeples, and green town commons welcomed me as I drove through town after town. Continue reading “April road trip…”

Making love last…

I thought marriage would bring me happiness. Isn’t that what the movies teach us? “You complete me!” Instead, marriage has been the training ground for an other-ness I didn’t really understand. I wanted to be loved, seen, cared for, and protected. I wanted a partner to do life with. I wanted someone to meet my needs. When I met that dark-eyed boy/man, he felt like home. He seemed to be able to “handle life.” He took care of things, and he wanted to be with me.  Continue reading “Making love last…”

12 people…

A year ago I hit submit on my very first blog post. My stomach churned and I felt a little unsteady, but then I assured myself only a few people would see it. And it was fine. My intended audience was 12 humans. I reasoned, this project was worth my time if 12 people read it each week. When I whined to a friend about how hard it was, how the technology is hard, how I hate that there is no response… she said, “Shut up and write. All the rest is noise.” So, I’ve tried to shut up and write. Continue reading “12 people…”

How are you? Really….

I can run through days upon days exchanging small talk, without really making a connection. How are you? I’m good, and you? Every once in a while, someone I don’t expect stops and really considers the question. Maybe they aren’t working out their answer as much as weighing heart of the asker. Do I really want to know? Do I care? Continue reading “How are you? Really….”

A good funeral…

The other day we gathered to say goodbye. The crisp March day blustered and weak sunshine peaked from behind puffy clouds. The church walkway was cluttered with mostly older folks. He was in his early seventies, a faithful servant, a husband, a father, a grandfather. We sang anthems of faith, about victory, about hope, about overcoming adversity and pain. We sang about Jesus. We listened to his daughters tell stories of his life, his mischief, his passion for others, and his joy. I sat with friends, tears streaming down my cheeks as we said goodbye to someone I didn’t really know. Continue reading “A good funeral…”

The unfolding…

Sometimes life’s pressures push and pull at me until my soul is scrunched up in a tight fist. Often this happens slowly over time, my soul reacting to first one thing, then another, then another. I think I am doing fine, until it is quite evident that I am not. Last week this recognition came suddenly as I spoke about a difficult topic. I hate it when I realize that I am struggling at the exact same time a room full of friends do. Continue reading “The unfolding…”