It won’t be like this for long…

Keith and I held hands as his brother danced with his little girl. Earlier, she took our breath away as she glided down the aisle. Her hair twirled up in an elaborate bun, a white gown flowing behind her. John held her close and led her across the dance floor. I watched from across the table as my sister-in-law gazed upon her husband and their only daughter. These moments are precious and fleeting. They are the milestones by which we mark our lives and the passage of time. 

Once, we were young married couples. Our kids were born at 9-month intervals from one another. Their needs quickly overtook our lives. For many years, our lives ran parallel to one another. We lived several towns apart, but participated in many of the same activities – homework checking, pop warner practices, after school sports, small town school events, never ending laundry, and life. 

As I listened to the familiar lyrics of the song, they chose for this special moment… 

Cause he already knows 

It won’t be like this for long

One day soon that little girl is gonna be 

All grown up and gone

Yeah this phase is gonna fly by

He’s trying to hold on

It won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long

Darius Rucker “It Wont’ Be Like This for Long”

It struck me again how much I didn’t know. How quickly our lives with children flew by, depositing us at this very moment. How blessed we’ve been to raise these ordinary, miraculous, delightful, difficult, extraordinary children all the way to adulthood. 

• We got to bear witness to their growth and challenges, their joys and grief. 
• We kissed their boo boos and wiped away their tears. 
• We tucked them into bed at night, and brought them one more cup of water. 
• We listened to their dramas and tended wounded hearts.
• We checked their homework and battled school projects. 
• We packed lunches and minivans. 
• We stayed up late and worried when they ventured out into the wide world.
• We scheduled doctor’s appointments and made sure they made them.
• We read Dr. Seuss and the Berenstain Bears one more time.  
• We splashed around the lake, the bathtub, and the baby pool.

Some days I worry about the mistakes of my life. I can see the shadows of my bad choices still impacting my children. I carry a load of regrets that I’m not yet ready to put down. But, no matter what else is true… being their mom will always be my greatest accomplishment.

I didn’t know then how fleeting the time would be, how much it would reshape my soul. I never imagined how hard it would be, or the ways that fear and turmoil would wear me thin.  The sleepless nights, the worries over illness, accidents, and broken hearts were just the beginning. Life continues to challenge and provide ample opportunities for growth, faith, and forgiveness. And even still, I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

I once thought that parenting ended. Now, I’m not so sure. While the dailiness of their earlier years is long behind us, the work of growing together continues. We are still learning, leaning into one another, finding ourselves together and apart. I hope this will never end. 

As the song shifted tempo, I wiped away a tear, and gave Keith’s hand a quick squeeze. I’m trying to stay in the moment, so I won’t miss a thing. It won’t be like this for long…