Homecoming…

I’m in Oregon this week. I came home to be here while my mom went through her chemo treatment. It’s hard to live so far away when life gets hard. When my dad was sick, the most painful thing was being so far away while the people I love (my mom and sister) had to face the grueling process day by day. So, this week, I am here to help. 

So far, I’ve gone to two days of chemo, helped clean up my uncle’s apartment, met with my grandmother’s new doctor, and made a lot of home cooked meals. 

There isn’t anything extraordinary in this. If I lived down the street, I could help out on an ordinary Wednesday. The truth is, it isn’t a big deal, it’s just life. This is how we love one another. We show up, we help out, and we carry on. 

Last year, when I faced cancer and surgery, I learned again the importance of showing up. My sister flew across the country to be there for my surgery. My mom stayed with me and nursed me back to health. Now, it’s my turn to show up and find ways to be useful. We do what we can. 

I think that love is more like this than the movies say. It’s jet lag and hospital waiting rooms. It’s Mom showing up each week, even when grandma doesn’t know her. It’s loading tables and clearing out the debris of life. It’s a homemade urn. It’s inside jokes, old stories, and long chuckles. I think love looks like life lived together. 

Today, life is filled with things I never imagined. I never thought about growing old. I never imagined my spry grandmother losing her bearings. I never thought about the distance between my door and my sister’s. I never imagined life after dad. I never considered that mom could get sick. There are so many things in my life that I never even thought about before. 

And yet, here we are. Some days, I focus on all that has been lost. Our innocence and our sense that life would always remain the same have been shattered. But that isn’t the only story. In the midst of much turmoil, we’ve leaned into each other and found solace and meaning in our shared experience. We’ve also found that love is both practical and present.