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Puzzle pieces…
The grief of that reality has filled in a bit in the past few years. All my good intentions, my vows, and even my sacrifices could not protect them from life, or from me. My hopes slid down my face, as they began their own journeys into the unknown. They were raised with love and brokenness. I think that’s really all we have to give.
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Beginning again, in the middle…
It is an unsettling thing to have new beginnings shoved into the middle of your life. I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if those new beginnings are of your own choice, or forced on you by others. A change in career, relocation, divorce or remarriage, the shuffling of family life can all leave us feeling lost in the middle. Share this...FacebookPinterestTwitterLinkedin
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Walking through the transitions…
My social media feeds have been full of friends doing hard things for the past few weeks. One friend moved her 16-year-old into college and watched her drive down the road for the first time… in the same week. Another said goodbye to her adult son who is moving several states away. I saw a momma’s sweet post about her boy going to full day kindergarten. Oh, sister. None of this is easy. Share this...FacebookPinterestTwitterLinkedin
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Take responsibility for your one wild and precious life…
As I look at my calendar, I am thinking about what I want this fall to feel like. What pace do I want in my life? How do I want my days, weeks, and months to feel? I’ve made a list of this fall’s responsibilities. Keith and I have talked about our goals, and our hopes and made decisions about time off, travel, and our social life over the slow days of summer.
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Let’s love ‘em…
So, I did what any self-respecting mother would do, I got louder. I added guilt. I mixed in some of my own experience, my own shame. I tried everything I could think of to retain (regain??) a semblance of influence. Maybe you have too.
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Living with limits…
None of us live free of limitations. There are limits on our time due to family obligations. We experience financial limits. There are limits due to health challenges. All of us face limits in our daily lives.
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On advice…
For years, they all looked to me for this particular set of skills. From homework, to their social lives, college and career goals, and beyond, I was the one they relied on to come up with solutions. Now, as they moved out into the world, I continued to feel responsible for this work in their lives. It was exhausting. I didn’t really like it, but I thought it was my job.
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Trusting their fear…
This principle can be a life saver during the “in-between” years of young adulthood. When our children head out in to the wider world, it’s easy for us to see all the dangers and pitfalls around them. We caution, we lecture, we scold, and we wear ourselves out. Often to no avail. It seems that they no longer listen to what we have to say.
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Our vows, now…
We have faced many kinds of better and worse over the course of our long marriage. We learned to fight for understanding, and for one another. We don’t always agree. We have very different ways of seeing the world, but we’ve learned that being together has made our best days better, and our worse days much less daunting.
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Why do I do this?
In this season, identifying the currents that pull me into dangerous spaces, has taken on new importance. I am certain I cannot live the second half of my life by the same rules I lived the first half. In fact, it feels like I have to learn a whole new way of being.