Again, in a new way…

My life is full, fuller than it’s been in a long time. The long season of waiting seems to have ended, and life is moving forward, filling up. Some of this fullness is situational. Kids are home, filling in the gaps their absence left behind. They are not always around, we often pass like ships in the night, but their presence is tangible in the house… I can see the stacks of mail, the dirty dishes in the sink, and the laundry piling up in the basement. I also recognize that this is a moment. A precious moment of rediscovery. Their lives are moving forward in a not so straight line, but they are moving inexorably ahead. I will appreciate this moment as a gift. Knowing them again, in a new way. They are still mine, but not so much. Continue reading “Again, in a new way…”

The after years…

I snapped a picture in front of the fire place. Their faces shining with life and friendship. Ten years ago, we snapped a picture of them beaming in their caps and gowns as they prepared to march to Pomp and Circumstance. They are older now. One with babies, a husband, and the other with a couple of degrees. Both of them hold wisdom gained from walking out their paths. Their lives couldn’t be more different, but they hold on to one another. I love that. Continue reading “The after years…”

Raising adults…

When it was my turn to ask for prayer, to share what was happening in my life, I began to cry. The pain and the fear mingled with shame and regret and threatened to overwhelm my heart. I poured out my story as tears slid off my chin. Around the room, friends nodded and offered words of encouragement. When the last amen was whispered, we gathered for snacks and a chance to catch up. This is when the miracle happened. One after another, friends pulled me close and shared their own story. My son… My daughter… I know… You are not alone… Continue reading “Raising adults…”

The others…

My kids now have significant others in their lives. People I don’t really know, yet. I am trying to be patient and reserved and to pace myself… but I really want to ask them questions, pry beneath their nervous facade, and get into their lives. I’m not, but I really want to. Continue reading “The others…”

Bystanders…

As our children grow into their individual lives, we find ourselves as bystanders. We watch them struggle in a job. We look for opportunities to offer perspective or warning. Sometimes these opportunities come, and often they do not. In matters of the heart, we watch hoping that they will make good choices. That those they love will love them back. We watch and hope for good connections and healthy spaces. There is so little we can do… we just watch. Continue reading “Bystanders…”

Our table…

It isn’t much to look at. We bought it from JC Penney’s in the spring of 1990. It was part of our first “real furniture.” You know…not a hand me down, but bought on store credit. We bought it not for its beauty, but for its durability, and it sure has come through. The other furniture we purchased with it is long gone. This piece, however, has watched the long progression of our lives unfold. Continue reading “Our table…”