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Advent week 4: Peace
It’s okay, maybe even better than okay to let Christmas unfold as it is this year. If we let ourselves out of the trap of “spectacular” and just ease toward good enough, we might find that peace is waiting for us.
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It won’t be like this for long…
Some days I worry about the mistakes of my life. I can see the shadows of my bad choices still impacting my children. I carry a load of regrets that I’m not yet ready to put down. But, no matter what else is true… being their mom will always be my greatest accomplishment.
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Puzzle pieces…
The grief of that reality has filled in a bit in the past few years. All my good intentions, my vows, and even my sacrifices could not protect them from life, or from me. My hopes slid down my face, as they began their own journeys into the unknown. They were raised with love and brokenness. I think that’s really all we have to give.
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Beginning again, in the middle…
It is an unsettling thing to have new beginnings shoved into the middle of your life. I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if those new beginnings are of your own choice, or forced on you by others. A change in career, relocation, divorce or remarriage, the shuffling of family life can all leave us feeling lost in the middle. Share this...FacebookPinterestTwitterLinkedin
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Walking through the transitions…
My social media feeds have been full of friends doing hard things for the past few weeks. One friend moved her 16-year-old into college and watched her drive down the road for the first time… in the same week. Another said goodbye to her adult son who is moving several states away. I saw a momma’s sweet post about her boy going to full day kindergarten. Oh, sister. None of this is easy. Share this...FacebookPinterestTwitterLinkedin
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Let’s love ‘em…
So, I did what any self-respecting mother would do, I got louder. I added guilt. I mixed in some of my own experience, my own shame. I tried everything I could think of to retain (regain??) a semblance of influence. Maybe you have too.
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On advice…
For years, they all looked to me for this particular set of skills. From homework, to their social lives, college and career goals, and beyond, I was the one they relied on to come up with solutions. Now, as they moved out into the world, I continued to feel responsible for this work in their lives. It was exhausting. I didn’t really like it, but I thought it was my job.
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Trusting their fear…
This principle can be a life saver during the “in-between” years of young adulthood. When our children head out in to the wider world, it’s easy for us to see all the dangers and pitfalls around them. We caution, we lecture, we scold, and we wear ourselves out. Often to no avail. It seems that they no longer listen to what we have to say.
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Midlife threshold: Recommit
In that dark time, I realized that my faith had been built on a wide and deep foundation of need. My need. I had come into this relationship empty and broken by grief and loss. The need had seemed unending. And yet, here I was over twenty years later realizing that my need was no longer enough.
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What can be shaken...
This season of turbulence has shaken everything, but what is left is very strong. It feels like a strong wind moved through my life and took everything that was not entirely secure. What is left, feels tested and true.