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Advent Week 3: Angels
As I’ve reflected on the Christmas story this week, I’ve been thinking about angels. I am not expecting the angel Gabriel to appear next to my sink full of dishes, but the words of angels might help even still.
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On advice…
For years, they all looked to me for this particular set of skills. From homework, to their social lives, college and career goals, and beyond, I was the one they relied on to come up with solutions. Now, as they moved out into the world, I continued to feel responsible for this work in their lives. It was exhausting. I didn’t really like it, but I thought it was my job.
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Trusting their fear…
This principle can be a life saver during the “in-between” years of young adulthood. When our children head out in to the wider world, it’s easy for us to see all the dangers and pitfalls around them. We caution, we lecture, we scold, and we wear ourselves out. Often to no avail. It seems that they no longer listen to what we have to say.
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Our vows, now…
We have faced many kinds of better and worse over the course of our long marriage. We learned to fight for understanding, and for one another. We don’t always agree. We have very different ways of seeing the world, but we’ve learned that being together has made our best days better, and our worse days much less daunting.
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Dear Colton,
Keep in mind, they are new to this parenting thing. They’ve been to all the classes and prepared in every way imaginable. In fact, if you ask me, they already know too much. What they don’t know is all the ways you will reshape their lives from the inside out.
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Looking ahead…
I’ve been watching her move forward this year, as though I am cramming for a test. As I look ahead, I am aware that my path might look different, but if I am lucky, and live long enough, I too will face these kinds of life changes.
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Workday…
We are finding our way. I don’t think we realized how hard the adjustment would be to add three new family members in just over a year. We never thought about how new people would shift and change our old ways of being. Family life in this season is wider and deeper and a bit unwieldy at times.
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Our list…
Things fall off the list. It’s funny to me, I don’t even remember what they were. Suddenly, in the face of a dire diagnosis, things shift and change. As life moves forward, things that once seemed dire are seen in a new light.
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Raising adults…
My children have challenged everything I know or care about. They have worn us to the very bone, and they have pushed us beyond the edge. These cherub-faced wonders did not really rebel in high school when I was prepared for it, but as they transitioned into adulthood they brought us to our knees.
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Gently now…
So, I’m giving myself permission to move slowly, to be where I am, and to let go of the need to have it all figured out. I’m resisting the urge to find a book, diet, organizational method, or financial plan that will help me whip my life back into shape and move on. Instead, I am leaning into solitude, rest, and time to create the environment where true healing and restoration can occur.