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Walking through the transitions…
My social media feeds have been full of friends doing hard things for the past few weeks. One friend moved her 16-year-old into college and watched her drive down the road for the first time… in the same week. Another said goodbye to her adult son who is moving several states away. I saw a momma’s sweet post about her boy going to full day kindergarten. Oh, sister. None of this is easy. Share this...FacebookPinterestTwitterLinkedin
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On advice…
For years, they all looked to me for this particular set of skills. From homework, to their social lives, college and career goals, and beyond, I was the one they relied on to come up with solutions. Now, as they moved out into the world, I continued to feel responsible for this work in their lives. It was exhausting. I didn’t really like it, but I thought it was my job.
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Trusting their fear…
This principle can be a life saver during the “in-between” years of young adulthood. When our children head out in to the wider world, it’s easy for us to see all the dangers and pitfalls around them. We caution, we lecture, we scold, and we wear ourselves out. Often to no avail. It seems that they no longer listen to what we have to say.
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Midlife threshold: Recommit
In that dark time, I realized that my faith had been built on a wide and deep foundation of need. My need. I had come into this relationship empty and broken by grief and loss. The need had seemed unending. And yet, here I was over twenty years later realizing that my need was no longer enough.
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Homecoming…
I think that love is more like this than the movies say. It’s jet lag and hospital waiting rooms. It’s Mom showing up each week, even when grandma doesn’t know her. It’s loading tables and clearing out the debris of life. It’s a homemade urn. It’s inside jokes, old stories, and long chuckles. I think love looks like a life lived together.
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Dear Colton,
Keep in mind, they are new to this parenting thing. They’ve been to all the classes and prepared in every way imaginable. In fact, if you ask me, they already know too much. What they don’t know is all the ways you will reshape their lives from the inside out.
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This is the good stuff…
Maybe the most important thing I took from that season was a new awareness that my purpose doesn’t lie out there somewhere, but right here in the ordinary cadence of my days. Who am I to love and serve? Let me see, who I can see from here?
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Parenting adults… a parallel journey
Our experiences were on a parallel track, and while I could appreciate the beauty of her journey, I also found that I needed to feel the grief and loss of change in mine.
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Looking ahead…
I’ve been watching her move forward this year, as though I am cramming for a test. As I look ahead, I am aware that my path might look different, but if I am lucky, and live long enough, I too will face these kinds of life changes.
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Baby Boucher 2019…
Soon we will be able to hold this new little one in our arms, until then, I am imagining a brown-haired boy with a familiar grin. I close my eyes and can envision the curve of his cheek, the smell of his hair, and his chunky thighs. My heart overflows with the sweetness and blessing of my new grandson.