What your life says…

Over the years, my life has whispered, whined, screamed, and roared. I’ve felt the grinding pain of stress and tension brutalize my soul and numb my body. Fear and anxiety have stretched my emotions out of whack and done a number on my sensitive stomach. Migraines have tried to prompt me to rest and recovery, but I continued on, as the throbbing wore me out. The pace of my life has swept me off my feet, again and again, and carried me along on the needs and demands of others.  

A few years ago, I determined to listen. I heard the weariness of my body and a deep unsettledness in my soul, and I took steps to reclaim my life. I walked away from a job I loved but was tearing me up inside. I slowed down, way down, and allowed the emptiness to reorient me. I committed to learning the language of my body as I decided to love her, just as she is. When I stepped out of my familiar job I thought I’d step into rest and recovery. Instead I fell into a vortex of change that has challenged every aspect of me. 

I was clear about one thing as I stepped from the familiar onto this unknown way. I wanted to create a life that felt as good on the inside as it looked on the outside. I wanted to live a life that was good for my soul. 

I wish I could tell that this process has been easy and clear. For me, this has been more like a street fight than a Sunday school lesson. Life upended me. A new job left me aching for the familiar busyness and hustle I’d grown accustomed to. Health issues, both mine and his swept us beyond the screaming edge. Family challenges, financial challenges, relational challenges all pressed hard against us. 

Don’t be mistaken, I have not arrived. Rather, I’ve survived and, in the process, learned to pay attention to the signals my life is communicating. It’s not that I didn’t understand these truths before, but I certainly hadn’t applied them to my life in any meaningful way. They lived like books stacked along the shelf in my soul. The information was available, but I wasn’t using it. 

If you feel like you are no longer leading in your life, and instead feel like your life is running ahead, and you are simply bouncing behind it… here are some things you might want to consider. 

Your Relationships:  Do you feel connected? Are you deeply and solidly connected in your most important relationships? I’m not talking about avoiding a crisis, instead I would ask you if your relationships are all you want them to be. When my life slowed down, I found that the quality of every important relationship in my life got measurably better. I once read that people spell love, TIME. I think I have to agree. 

My relationships whispered that my people missed me. Not just my body, but the attention and care that a little more space allowed. They missed me not only responding to the crisis but also noticing the little things. They needed my attention and thoughtful care, and I wanted to have time to see them, to recognize the little things, and to have the bandwidth to follow through. 

Your body:  Do you feel vibrant and alive? Are you energized to live your life and overcome challenges and meet the demands of the day? I’m not talking about not being sick but being really healthy. Most people, like me, take their body for granted. It simply works, no matter what you feed it, no matter how you take care of it, no matter what… until it doesn’t. 

It didn’t take a health crisis for me to begin to address my relationship with my body, but it has been a powerful motivator since. This body is the only one I have, and without it nothing else that matters in my life can continue. Learning to listen to its needs, fuel it well, and declare peace with it has changed everything. 

Your heart:  Are your mind and emotions calm and stable? Do you have a full range of emotion? There is a difference between surviving and thriving. A heart that is calm and centered can respond to the day’s demands but is not at the mercy of the latest crisis. I’ve found that waking at 3 am to process the day’s events, off the chart anxiety, and the pervasive sense of overwhelm are not the only way to live your days.

My heart scrambled to keep up with the responsibility I was steeped in. Like driving faster than my headlights, I found that having too much going on and not enough time to process what was happening left me feeling overextended and depleted.  Learning how to manage my energy, as well as my calendar, have begun to create the space I need to live at a more sustainable pace. In this slower space I am prioritizing the issues of my heart. 

Your soul: Are you fully alive? Living a life of purpose and joy? I find that the best indication of my soul health is creativity. I don’t mean the arts, but the everyday creativity that curates a life of beauty and meaning, one that flows out of our most true selves. When my soul is vibrant and healthy, I am connected to God, to others, and to my truest self. 

My soul was anemic from lack of space to wonder, to think, to ponder. Without a healthy soul, I was efficient but not really alive. As though the color and light had seeped out of my world leaving only the gray tones. A healthy soul is luminous, difficult to describe but immediately recognizable.

The process of really listening to my life required that I slow down and make it a priority. I could avoid the subtler signals, or refuse to learn the language, but for me life eventually caught me up and demanded that I pay attention. I pray that you too might learn to listen and to respond in ways that make you more fully alive. 

The glory of God is man fully alive.

-Saint Irenaeus