Yesterday, I climbed out of bed and stumbled downstairs as though I had a hangover. My head hurt, my body ached, and I felt a little woozy. I curled up under a blanket and began to sort through the emails that had been stacking up for the past couple weeks. By 10am I had retreated to my comfy chair to journal and begin to unfold my life from the crash of the past few days. By 11am I was back at my computer, trouble shooting and desperately trying to make a deadline. When the dust settled, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and went to bed. I slept like the dead, but when I awoke, I felt more human. This morning, I awoke and felt like a whole person. I find the process of putting myself back together much harder than the process of working myself into oblivion.Continue reading “Another way…”
New Year’s day dawned cold and windy where I live. The trees are dancing to sound of the howling wind. We are tucked under blankets, nibbling on the last of the cookies and treats, and preparing to return to real life.Continue reading “Hello 2019…”
I earned my master’s degree at 43. My children were 23, 21, and 19. There was not a more difficult time in my life as a mother. No one should have to take developmental psychology when their children have already grown. I sat with a textbook detailing all of the ways I had failed to meet my children’s developmental needs from infancy through young adulthood. I recognized a multitude of areas I had fallen short, identified issues I should have addressed, and found too many areas I could have not worried about, but did anyway. If only I had known.Continue reading “Good enough…”
One of the unintended consequences of my recent trauma has been a profound sense of disconnection from my life. I’m certain there are lots of reasons for this. Life literally stopped for a couple months, weakness and pain kept me close to home, and dealing with the emotional, physical, and spiritual aftermath has been no joke. I have been so grateful for the space, the time, and the grace to move through my own process of healing. I’ve found the silence healing. I’ve spent time reading. I’ve snuggled close to my husband and children. It feels as though I’ve let go, somehow, and just life move on without me. Continue reading “A new rhythm…”
I’ve written before about my
compulsion practice of setting goals, breaking them into actionable steps and methodically moving forward to reach each one. As the school year approaches, I find myself looking at the newest planners, thinking about shiny new notebooks, and dreaming about new goals. In my world, late August is the beginning of a new season. Continue reading “Goal setting…”
Every summer, I want to be an artist. As a child, I remember gathering my coloring books and arranging my crayons on a beach towel under the willow tree. The warm breeze rattled the long branches as I lay on my back looking through the branches to the blue breaking through. As a teen, I brought a sketchbook to the beach and imagined myself capturing the weight of the sun, the sparkle of the water, the soft roll of the dunes. As a young mom, I longed to capture the folds of baby knees, the curve of a chin, and the movement of children climbing, exploring, and discovering the world in our backyard. Continue reading “Summer art…”
A few years ago, we gave up television. I know exactly when it was. When Robin Williams died, I could not fathom watching the emotional and historical outpouring of communal sadness. I turned the tv off. We liked the sound of silence in our house. We talked more. We read more. We did not even miss the noise. We occasionally turn it on to watch something we’ve recorded or to watch a movie. But mostly, we just enjoy the silence.
One thing that I have filled in the corners of the silence with has been reading interesting blogs. I’ve been collecting a reading list of interesting people and perspectives from across the web. I’d like to introduce some of them to you! So, on Saturday mornings, I’m going to highlight one of my favorites for your enjoyment.
Shelly Miller’s blog is focused on Sabbath. She has created the Sabbath Society, a place where folks can encourage each other about the joys and challenges of arranging our lives around rest. She recently wrote a book, “Rhythms of Rest” which I am slowly savoring. I read a bit and then journal, read a bit and then ponder. It’s like sipping hot tea under a warm blanket on a gray morning.
Sabbath Society– I’ve signed up for her weekly email. It is a nice reminder in the midst of the busyness of life to slow down and look up.
A favorite article – I also love her monthly printable calendar. I use it for a quick reference guide and take moments out of the day to remember what matters.
Sometimes I need a friend that will take me on the road. After weeks of pressure and stress, the excitement of the baby shower, and months of turmoil and change I needed a day away. My friend texted me on Friday and let me know that as the Cruise Director, she had scheduled a day away. Would I be interested? Of course I was. Continue reading “An adventure…”
There is nothing like the sizzle of an onion hitting hot oil in my cast iron skillet. All the senses get involved, the heat from the stove, the smell of the onion and oil, the sound, and the feel of beginning again. The practice of making a meal keeps me together sometimes. Continue reading “Dinner time…”
I love to plan. I am a goal setting, objective identifying, activity planning fool. Where others roll their eyes at mission statements and shared declarations of values posted on the wall, I relish these things. Both in my personal life and the organizations I support, I look for these signs of purpose and culture. Continue reading “Planning…”