Another way…

Another way…

Yesterday, I climbed out of bed and stumbled downstairs as though I had a hangover. My head hurt, my body ached, and I felt a little woozy. I curled up under a blanket and began to sort through the emails that had been stacking up for the past couple weeks. By 10am I had retreated to my comfy chair to journal and begin to unfold my life from the crash of the past few days. By 11am I was back at my computer, trouble shooting and desperately trying to make a deadline. When the dust settled, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and went to bed. I slept like the dead, but when I awoke, I felt more human. This morning, I awoke and felt like a whole person. I find the process of putting myself back together much harder than the process of working myself into oblivion.

Continue reading “Another way…”

Good enough…

Good enough…

I earned my master’s degree at 43. My children were 23, 21, and 19. There was not a more difficult time in my life as a mother. No one should have to take developmental psychology when their children have already grown. I sat with a textbook detailing all of the ways I had failed to meet my children’s developmental needs from infancy through young adulthood. I recognized a multitude of areas I had fallen short, identified issues I should have addressed, and found too many areas I could have not worried about, but did anyway. If only I had known. 

Continue reading “Good enough…”

A new rhythm…

A new rhythm…

One of the unintended consequences of my recent trauma has been a profound sense of disconnection from my life. I’m certain there are lots of reasons for this. Life literally stopped for a couple months, weakness and pain kept me close to home, and dealing with the emotional, physical, and spiritual aftermath has been no joke. I have been so grateful for the space, the time, and the grace to move through my own process of healing. I’ve found the silence healing. I’ve spent time reading. I’ve snuggled close to my husband and children. It feels as though I’ve let go, somehow, and just life move on without me. Continue reading “A new rhythm…”

Goal setting…

Goal setting…

I’ve written before about my compulsion practice of setting goals, breaking them into actionable steps and methodically moving forward to reach each one. As the school year approaches, I find myself looking at the newest planners, thinking about shiny new notebooks, and dreaming about new goals. In my world, late August is the beginning of a new season. Continue reading “Goal setting…”

Summer art…

Summer art…

Every summer, I want to be an artist. As a child, I remember gathering my coloring books and arranging my crayons on a beach towel under the willow tree. The warm breeze rattled the long branches as I lay on my back looking through the branches to the blue breaking through. As a teen, I brought a sketchbook to the beach and imagined myself capturing the weight of the sun, the sparkle of the water, the soft roll of the dunes. As a young mom, I longed to capture the folds of baby knees, the curve of a chin, and the movement of children climbing, exploring, and discovering the world in our backyard. Continue reading “Summer art…”

A Splash of Inspiration… November 4, 2017

A Splash of Inspiration… November 4, 2017

A few years ago, we gave up television. I know exactly when it was. When Robin Williams died, I could not fathom watching the emotional and historical outpouring of communal sadness. I turned the tv off. We liked the sound of silence in our house. We talked more. We read more. We did not even miss the noise. We occasionally turn it on to watch something we’ve recorded or to watch a movie. But mostly, we just enjoy the silence.

One thing that I have filled in the corners of the silence with has been reading interesting blogs. I’ve been collecting a reading list of interesting people and perspectives from across the web. I’d like to introduce some of them to you! So, on Saturday mornings, I’m going to highlight one of my favorites for your enjoyment.

Shelly Miller’s blog is focused on Sabbath. She has created the Sabbath Society, a place where folks can encourage each other about the joys and challenges of arranging our lives around rest. She recently wrote a book, “Rhythms of Rest” which I am slowly savoring. I read a bit and then journal, read a bit and then ponder. It’s like sipping hot tea under a warm blanket on a gray morning.

Shelly Miller website

Sabbath Society– I’ve signed up for her weekly email. It is a nice reminder in the midst of the busyness of life to slow down and look up.

A favorite article – I also love her monthly printable calendar. I use it for a quick reference guide and take moments out of the day to remember what matters.