Joy in real life…

Brene Brown says, “Joy is the most vulnerable emotion.” Maybe, that’s why I have always struggled with it. I open my heart to experience the exquisite beauty of this moment, but I know it cannot last. The sunset that paints the sky in sherbet colors of orange, gold, and lavender will soon fade to dusk. The moment of pure laughter and connection will soon shift back to living side by side. The smell of a warm baby, just out of the bath, gives way to a defiant tween. A long slow summer Sunday afternoon, too quickly turns to Monday morning. We don’t give ourselves over to joy in order to protect ourselves from losing it. 

So much of the beauty and wonder of life can only be lived in moments of perfection, and I always want to stretch them out. It is my nature to want to orchestrate these moments, to capture them, and to refuse to release them to their moment. It is harder for me to relax into them, to experience the wonder with an open hand. 

A counselor once asked me to describe how joy felt in my body. I sat blank faced. I did not know. After months of weekly meetings, I was just beginning to learn that my body experienced emotions as fully as my mind did. When I was ashamed, my ears turned hot. When I was nervous, I could feel the waves of tension running through my muscles. I could feel dread in my stomach and anxiety in the tension in my neck. But, I had no idea how joy felt in my body.

This year, I’ve become a student of joy. In the year since my cancer diagnosis, I have become aware of the sparkle and awe in my life. Slowing down has helped me pay attention to the details of my days and the new sense of mortality has made it all so precious. This year, I have found joy laying out in the open in the ordinary spaces of my life. I’ve also found it hidden in darker corners, awaiting my acknowledgement. In fact, joy seems to be looking for me as I move through my everyday life. I need only notice. 

Debra’s Joy Manifesto

I believe that the simple and ordinary moments are filled with joy, and that it’s up to me to pay attention to them.

I believe that sunlight & fresh air can make almost anything better. 

I believe there may be things that can’t be cured by a long soak in a hot tub, but I don’t know what they are (paraphrased from Sylvia Plath).

I believe that joy is most easily found in the places I am most myself. 

I believe joy is available to us in all the moments of our lives, not just reserved for vacations & holidays.

I believe there is joy in letting people be who they are.

I believe that good linens & nice dishes can make anything taste better. 

I believe that dresses should be judged by their swirl.

I believe that joy is most often found in the slow and simple places of life. 

I believe beautiful things heal the soul; images, words, music, settings, and people. 

I believe that a pop of color can make a day, an outfit, or a space more joyful.

I believe there is joy in the ordinary messes of our lives. 

I believe that joy is the Champaign of the soul, and feels like bubbles in my belly.

I believe that attending to joy makes it grow, so I am all in for: 

• Baby giggles
• Puppy bellies
• Slow mornings
• Long conversations
• Silence
• Books stores
• Coffee shops
• Cupcakes
• Clothes on the line
• Fast internet
• A new journal
• A long book
• New pajamas
• Keith’s hand
• My children’s smiles
• Family dinner (even with the swears)
• PDX
• August- October – May

What brings you joy today?