Staying home…

It’s here. After months of frenzied chaos, my home and heart echo with the sounds of silence and rest. I’ve spent a week puttering around my home, organizing closets, cupboards, and my heart.

I don’t know why the process of organizing brings such healing, but it does.

When my coworkers learned that I would be on vacation this week, they asked where we were going. It feels boring to reply, nowhere, we’re staying home. But my heart knows that there is nothing I long for more than time… at home. Maybe it was all the years I spent with home as the center of my life. Those years spent circling my home in minivans and never ending carpools, or the earlier ones with no car and three little ones clinging.

My home was once a place of battle as I railed against the isolation and loneliness of being left behind. For many years I encouraged my husband to pursue his educational and career goals while I just barely kept my head above water. Home was also the place of my greatest blessings as I learned to give myself to my children and found that life is truly sweetest when given away. It took years to learn to manage a home, organize, budget, and handle my time well. These skills prepared me well for the next season of life, but I know they were all forged in long days at home.

Now home is a place of retreat from the demands of the world. Here, I am allowed to be… me. No pretense. Here I can slip off the work clothes and professional demeanor I stand behind in the marketplace. No shoes, no pants, no hustle… they already know. My husband (and my children) have seen me at my very worst, and they love me anyway. So, I come home. To kick off my shoes, pull on sweats, and lean into the rhythms of life. The smell of coffee in the morning, slow cooked meals, long conversations, and full solitude all bring me back to myself. That is what I find when I come home… a renewed sense of myself. 

31daysThis is part of a 31 day writing challenge. If you are interested in following along, you can find the rest of the series here. Thank you for stopping by!

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