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Why do I do this?
In this season, identifying the currents that pull me into dangerous spaces, has taken on new importance. I am certain I cannot live the second half of my life by the same rules I lived the first half. In fact, it feels like I have to learn a whole new way of being.
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Winter beach…
I still need to just go. To rush to the wind and the shore, and remind myself that there is still spontaneity and fun in me. I am too serious, and often too well planned. I am tired from taking care of all the people. Maybe when I am tired from the cares of life, instead of a nap, I need a quick trip to remind me of this other part… of me.
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Goal setting…
It seems that I’ve walked over a threshold. On this side, many of the things I’ve spent my life pursuing seem thin and worn. I wonder if the ways I’ve lived my life, spent my energy, and engaged with the world will suit me moving forward.
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What do you see?
Somehow, by tracing the inner landscape of my life, I can consider new possibilities. Am I knocking my head against a brick wall, or feeling frustrated and ready to give up? Maybe there is another way to see this. I use this map as a starting point, a landscape that while real, may not be entirely true.
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Planning…
What is true on the inside of my life will eventually overflow toward the people around me. If I am filled with insecurity and fear, that will splash on those I hold most dear. If I am overcome with anxiety, it will inhabit my relationships. If my life is overwhelmed by the pace and needs, those closest to me will see the lack.
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A solid place to stand…
For me, each of these principles represents a decision to acknowledge and accept responsibility for myself. To own my own power. My goal is not to wield that power with impunity but to protect, preserve, and promote peace in my life and in the lives of those I influence.
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The unfolding…
My Bible tells me “Submit yourselves one to another.” I think this kind of sharing, this opening up to another, embodies that command. It involves confession and recognition. My experience of this sharing always brings healing.