In the gap…

It’s been a week since my surgery. Time seems to have shifted. The familiar cadence of my days abruptly slowed to a new more somber beat. The world has shrunk down to the size of my home. From the quiet of my front porch, we are enjoying the first signs of spring.

On my first morning home, I received a text from a friend. She wondered if I was worried about the pathology report. My mom asked the same question the other day. The truth is, I am not. I feel like in the gap between the surgery and the report, there is a safe space. In this gap, I am resting.

Last week, I faced a dragon! The surgery, the hospital stay, the disorientation of my body. I awoke to the faces of my people, I saw their fear and their fatigue. I awoke to the reality of my survival, and the fight ahead to regain my whole life. I awoke to the reality of a scar that twists around my body rearranging my reality. It is enough to deal with today’s new reality.

My left side feels like it is in a vice grip. I affectionately describe my scar/wound as a dragon bite. I can’t stand up straight. The foot-long mark is studded by staples which will come out tomorrow. Taking a full breath and movement remind me of its tenacity. I cannot yet reach the floor. But I am moving around, fussing with my house a bit. Loving on my grandson, and enjoying time with my people near and far.

One of my favorite kids dropped off a card yesterday addressed to Debra the Dragon Slayer… It reminds me that I am not a victim of this situation but an active participant in overcoming this very real adversary.

Tomorrow, I will face the pathology report. My last trip to this doctor’s office was not so good, I’m hoping this one is better. They will remove my staples and let us know what to expect. Tomorrow, I will know what the future holds. But for today, I will listen to the birds twittering in the tree near the driveway. I will laugh with my grandson as he runs giggling from his dad. I will enjoy a slow day with my mom. We are gathering strength from one another and from so many who love us near and far. I will be ready. But not until tomorrow.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

4 thoughts on “In the gap…

  1. Hi Debra,
    So glad to hear that you’re feeling better and continuing to have a positive outlook. I wish you all the best at tomorrow’s appointment with the doctor. It’s wonderful to hear that you have such a strong and supportive group of friends and family to help you every step of the way………Sherri

    Like

  2. I’m praying for you Deb. I can tell you have your eyes on the Lord and peace in your heart….you can’t lose! Blessings and love, Linda (Teri’s mom)

    Like

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