I worry like it’s my job. I gnaw on a concern until it’s lost all of its taste. In fact, I feel like it’s irresponsible not to worry about things that matter… Like I don’t care if I don’t worry. Often, in my head, worry shows my commitment to people, to projects, or to plans. The thing is, worry doesn’t actually produce any good things in my life.
- Worry doesn’t protect me or my love ones from harm.
- Worry doesn’t keep the bad things I fear from happening.
- Worry doesn’t make me more connected or capable.
The gnawing anxiety in my core often drives me. This anxiety is expressed as worry. It causes me to spend endless hours using my very active imagination, considering infinite possibilities of danger and loss. I then practice scenarios where I imagine I have some control. These thoughts then turn into feelings that can impact my relationships, my peace of mind, and my productivity. I find myself worn out before I’ve ever accomplished a thing.
Recently, I had a moment that shook me to the core. What if anxiety no longer powered my life? I’ve been thinking about how my life would look different if the engine of my life was love rather than anxiety and worry. I’m thinking about how I could rest in love, not clinging and grasping after it, but receiving it with open hands. I’m thinking about how I could let love, not worry, be the engine that runs my life, my thoughts, my words, and my interactions.
What if I gave up worry for love?
If I stopped worrying about my kids and simply enjoyed them, loved them just where they are?
If I stopped worrying about what will happen next at work and simply dug into the work I love?
If I stopped worrying about the future, and loved this moment in my life?
- My faith tells me that my life is not my own.
- That all the days of my life were written down before one of them came to be.
- That I cannot add one moment to my life through worry.
I’m really not good at this, but I want to be. I want to give up the illusion of control that comes from worry, for the true power of love.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7