So, I’ve been struggling with rest. Not the kind of rest that comes after a hard day, or the weekend kind of rest. I’m struggling with the kind of rest that changes the tempo of my life. I’ve always been a doer. At home, in my church, and in the workplace I get things done.
The thing is, I really only have two speeds… stop and go. I once heard that there are two kinds of people. One who at the end of a big project wants a vacation, and the other who wants a bigger project. Guess which one I am. The truth is, it quells my insecurities to feel like I am in the midst of the whirl of life. When I am needed and getting things done I feel the most secure.
So, in the quiet after multiple storms in my life, I feel a little at loose ends. The winds of change have been blowing hard in our lives for a very long time. Launching three adults, moving, new jobs, changing schedules, had me dancing as fast as I could for the past few years. As our lives settle into new routines, it is quieter and there are fewer demands. Even at work, the ticking clock of a multi-year grant has subsided leaving some slack in my days.
I don’t know this rhythm. It is softer and slower, and I continually feel like maybe I’ve forgotten something. I’ve wrestled with this new beat, trying to add activities and people. But, I think maybe I need this time. To recover my equilibrium, to reconnect with my people, to create some space for new things. I don’t know what lies ahead, but I think I will lean into this new tempo, and sway softly for a bit.
What is the tempo of your life at the moment?